Empty Nest= Free Bird
After dropping my youngest son off at college this past weekend, I am now an official "empty-nester" as they call this stage in life. I actually have been looking forward to this time for a few years now. Surprisingly, it's a relief for me to relinquish my motherly duties and to no longer identify as a "mom". Don't get me wrong, I will always be a mom to my two boys and will worry about them and constantly pray for them. But I understand and desire for them to develop their own wings to fly in life without my directing, nagging or rescuing.
Did I cry when I left my son at college? No, I didn't cry. But after reading Brooke Shields(2021) and Rob Lowes(2016) letter/post about how they reacted to leaving their children at college for the first time, I feel like maybe I should have cried? Am I a bad mom for not getting emotional? Maybe because I am truly excited for him and this new adventure, and time of learning and growing as an adult. I fondly remember my time of setting off to college and leaving the nest. I desire those same fond memories for my son as freedom and independence create learning and adventures. Setting up my son in his dorm room was exciting, especially since I didn't get to do this with my oldest son. My oldest son chose to go locally and live at home which I count as a blessing. I savored the 2.5 extra years I got with him under my roof. So when he decided to move out on his own, I felt confident he could survive the responsibilities of adulthood-paying rent, working full time, and taking care of himself.
An odd conundrum is now before me though. No longer do I have a need for a high paying job to help support my family, nor do I have ties to a certain area for my children's home and education. This presents options, many options. I can entertain numerous opportunities if I'd like. Hence that's the problem-too many options, creating overwhelm. It is similar to a study done on people's buying habits. They tested it out with flavored jams and noticed when only 3 options were offered verses the 10 different flavors, people purchased more when only 3 flavors were presented verses the 10. I feel that way in deciding the next opportunity to pursue.
Should I return to an earlier passion I had to lay down for motherhood? What new ideas can I pursue that light me up? Such freedom to embark on whatever. I would call this season "Free Birds" instead of "empty nester" or "Emerging Eagles" as Ronna Benjamin coins in an article from Betterafter50.com .
The tears I do cry now are in preparation for this new season I will be embarking on. Uncertainty creates anxiety in me, as I anticipate the shift of changes to come. Change is hard, especially if you have been, like myself, living for years in a comfortable existence.