The Milestones of Adulthood: Are You Adulting?

In American society, there are milestones that an individual is expected to reach by a certain age. According to sociologists, there are 5 concrete cornerstones an individual must complete to be on their way to full fledging adulthood; finish college, leaving home, financial independence, marriage and having children. For example, it is a given that every child in the US will graduate from high school around the age of 18. Although high school graduation is the norm with an 88% graduation rate as of April 2020 numbers, the timeline of other milestones beyond high school are not always clear cut.In the United States, after high school graduation, attending college has been the determined path. How many of the 69.8 percent of high school graduates attending college have become Sheeples? Data shows this percentage hasn’t changed since 2000, yet I believe as college continues to become increasingly more expensive and students and parents being more strapped with minimal funds, less students will be attending 4-year colleges.Even though this time of year has many thinking graduations, I personally was hit with the realization of other life’s expected milestones for myself and my son. My son will be 21 this summer and yet he doesn’t have his life “figured out”. I can’t judge or scold him because here I am 52 years old and still don’t have my life “figured out” either. Have I hit the many expected milestones such as; college graduation, marriage, kids, buying a house, 401k plan, etc?  Yes, I have, but many of the societal expectations I felt were not who I was or am today. As a young adult, I may have not considered other paths because no one showed me there were alternatives and for those alternatives that I was aware of (New York City), they were not highly accepted and often looked down upon.My son attended college for two years and received his Associate Degree. Then he decided to take some time off. Would I like him to get a 4-year bachelor’s degree, of course, but I have to accept and understand that he does not need to be conformed to what society pressures us to accomplish or do. My parents did not want me going off to New York City right after high school like a close dance friend and competitor of mine. They were protective and even though they supported my dance dream, they held the reigns tight and often recommended a “back-up plan”. If I hadn’t attended college as what was expected, my life may have been different. I would have ended up in New York City or LA auditioning where I could for dancing jobs. A very different outcome from the SAFE, 4-year BFA degree that I pursued.Another milestone that young adults think about is marriage. Although I got married much later in life, I often even wonder if I was cut out for marriage. Again, I felt the pressures of the accepted norms of American society that every young woman needs to be married. All my friends and siblings had married, so I thought I should too. I am so glad I got to enjoy my 20’s completely single though. With women being more independent, strong and self-sufficient, they should not feel obligated to get married. However, as the true romantic bubbles to the surface of my heart, true love certainly would be a reason to marry, not because all your friends or family are doing it. Wait for that special mate.As times change and our societal norms shift, especially now, I hope to see more young adults carving their own paths and abandoning the accepted status quo. I see it in the thriving solopreneurs/entrepreneurs, You-tubers and even those finding their independence by working manual jobs to reach goals and dreams. Now we as the parents and family members need to support the off the beaten path course our children, nieces, nephews and other young adults in our lives have chosen, even if it’s not what we did at their age.